Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
We left an ass print on the piano.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
