haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
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She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
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He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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