you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
