I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
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You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
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Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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