Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
