look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
