Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
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Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
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We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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