yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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