I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
