Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
