I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
