It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
