i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
