She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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