im so drunk with asians
where?
always
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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