dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
oh god the rape fog is back!
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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