she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
