After last night, I could never be a politician.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
