You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
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