You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
