I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
