I've blown a few things in my day
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
