It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
