We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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