He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
