My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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