No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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