ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
