So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
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