how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Randomize
