i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
