I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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