He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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