it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize