Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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