Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
