i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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