Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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