Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
