I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
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hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
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I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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