this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
