he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
