I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
