I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
