took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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