dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
