apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
All the doctor said was why
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize