One girl and one boy is just not enough.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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