She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
