I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
