holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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