LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
