i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
