If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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