I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
