So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
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