dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I deserve this hangover.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
