I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
