At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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