Your dad touched me again.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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