he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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