My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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