Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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