omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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