What a fucking waste of an outfit
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
