just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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