i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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