Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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