I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
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ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
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You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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