im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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