Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
