Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(325): View more from Texas

she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.

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(706): View more from Georgia

Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.

Fav 16 1263 3935
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(703): View more from Virginia

keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.

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(469): View more from Texas

Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.

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(916): View more from California

You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.

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(810): View more from Michigan

Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?

Fav 7 1352 987
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(347): View more from New York

you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder

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(314): View more from Missouri

Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick

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