I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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