I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
