Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
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